Bengal Brasserie - Leeds (December 2017)

Some people believe that Christmas is a time of miracles, and maybe it is for our dear readers - as here is brand new entry in the curry club blog! Yes, somewhere in the midst of wrapping presents, putting tinsel on trees and eating copious amounts of sugary treats – 10 wise men managed to squeeze in a trip to Leeds centre to enjoy the festive edition of curry club.

The host was yours truly, and thanks to previous stints as Christmas club host, I knew to prep for a big night, just like good old Santa Claus himself. As such, a table was pre-booked at the newly opened Bengal Brasserie opposite Leeds arena and club member Danny Grimes, as giddy as Will Ferrell’s Elf, demanded we all wear Christmas jumpers to mark the occasion. So you can imagine everyone’s disappointment when we all met in the Headrow House, cleverly located on the Headrow, to find Grimes sporting his standard check oxford shirt and no Christmas jumper. From a man who takes fashion seriously, we were expecting big things. Perhaps a jumper reminiscent of Wham!’s ‘Last Christmas’ video. But alas, we were all left ‘Scrooged’.

He wasn’t the only one mind, Gled continued his high school excuses with “it was in the wash”, Dockers claimed he “doesn’t own one” and didn’t have the creative mind of Neil Buchanan to just simply throw some glitter on himself, and Broady went with the tried and tested ‘I forgot’.

The Headrow House has some fine beverages on offer, as the group enjoyed a few pots of Five Points Ale and Pilsner Urquell – which was served in frosted glasses too #refreshing. Not all were happy with the selection though as Matty ‘The Guinness Man’ Burton grumbled as they did not offer his lifeblood of the black stuff, and so turned to the dark beer Schneider Weisse. Although it wouldn’t keep him alive, it kept the man quiet for a while. We stimulated our minds with the usual low level conversation pieces, as Vinny recalled a tale of a past encounter with a lady with a glass eye – prompting Scott to contemplate utilising the empty eye socket for extra ‘fun times’. This could be new depths.

As we moved on, TTT – who went full Christmas with his reindeer jumper hood combo - lunged about like a mad man through the streets but alas this was not the reason we were refused entry into the Belgrave Music Hall. Although it was a midweek early evening, and in a sober state, re-enforced by Gled carrying bags of shopping - it was deemed there was no room at the inn for a group of Gentlemen looking for pre-curry shelter. Too many Joseph’s, not enough Mary’s. Thankfully, the club was given sanctuary in Rum & Reason across the way. So to Belgrave we say ‘Bah humbug’! A swift one in Manhatta so TTT could show off his dance moves, hoping for a few carrots, it was on to our dining destination.

Bengal Brassiere – Leeds City Centre

A very stylish and modern décor, Bengal Brassiere oozes sophistication and it was well matched by the warm welcome from finely dressed staff. Ushered to our seat, we were soon enjoying our popadoms– which came with a tray of 6 different pickles! The waiter began to take our mains order in clockwise order, but TTT decided to jump from 2 to 6pm, perhaps jumping the gun due to his excess energy levels not extinguished through busting enough reindeer moves. Back on track, the waiter took our order from a fine menu, with plenty of fish variety to quench Vinny’s inevitable aquatic creature thirst. As we awaited the starter, poor Jay-dog had to watch the very last piece of popadom agonisingly fall to the floor. Never mind, he didn’t have to wait long as the mixed grill starters arrived, and were sizzling so much, we lost Broady in the smoke. But wow – the sizzling starters were very tasty, piping hot and fresh.

As we await the mains, our attention is turned to the creepy Christmas music sang by children – an unsavoury distraction from an otherwise pleasing atmosphere. With Christmas music now on our minds, a question was asked whether Gary Glitter’s festive hit should be allowed on compilation albums – we all concluded, it should not. This did lead to Tony’s wild claim that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were ‘up to no good’ along with Glitter – and it is here I point out that the club firmly did not agree with these allegations based on nothing against the rock legends.

Ho ho ho

The mains arrived and rivalled the starters for their culinary excellence. Thick sauces, and quality meat a plenty from the specials, classic curries to Tandoori grills - all members were more than satisfied diners. Discussion turned to movies, with favourite Christmas films at the forefront. Selections ranged from the classics like It’s A Wonderful Life, to more modern greats like Die Hard and Home Alone. What was great to hear was that TTT’s favourite Christmas film of all time was….Ghostbusters. Classic Tony answer probably mistaking the Stay Puft marshmellow mans exploded parts for snow. He did redeem himself with Trading Places though and most likely his choice rested firmly on Jamie-Lee Curtis' 'shoulders'...ahem.

Looking good, feeling good

Coming in at £250 for 10 diners, it’s slightly on the pricier side but considering the quality of food and service, it’s worth the little extra. And they very kindly gave a festive Bailey’s gratis. This seemed to fuel the testosterone and bravado in some as Scott and Docker’s duelled at arm wrestling, of which Scott triumphed rather comfortably. He then called out the other silverback of the group, Broady who was full of big game talk like ‘you’re built for show, I’m built to go’ but alas, he shirked the challenge – claiming he needed 10 minutes to get an erection to boost his performance. I’m not entirely sure he grasped the concept of an arm wrestle and thankfully, we left before he could ‘rise to the occasion’.

On that note, all members of the club would like to wish you all a very, very merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Cheers

Danny

Merry Christmas, love the club!