Gabbar - Leeds (June 2019)

To all of our readers (Hello Ukraine, hello Iran) who have been patiently waiting for the return of our blog during this fallow period, we welcome you back with the most open of arms. Your guest blogger this time is Daniel/Danny/Dan G/Grimboah (delete as appropriate), wilkommen.

Six whole months since the last blog and it seems fitting that we have returned on the club of surely the most celebrated, distinguished and blogworthy member of the club, our very own TTT.

Missing the usually steadfast presence of Crethy B who had selfishly chosen to head to Italia with his nearest and dearest rather than break bread with his band of brothers, we began our evening.

First port of call on our whistle-stop tour of Briggate was the ever-reliable Whitelocks, founded in 1715 making it the oldest pub in Leeds. Eight club members squeezed on a bench made for four on this damp June evening, poor Dockers and Vinny perched on the end trying to find a few centimetres of bench apiece. Attention quickly turned to mein host as we reminisced about blogs past, most of which have TTT being the undoubted star of the show. One hazy memory recounted was of the time Tony turned up to a club in Dewsbury, turning the air blue after an unpleasant journey that apparently took in planes, trains & automobiles. Continuing to vent his spleen TTT then headed to the boat house next door to the pub to try and order his pint, rather than the actual pub which would surely have been better equipped to quench our hosts thirst.  

Another club remembered through the blog was a trip to Table 27 in the hometown when Tony (Soprano?) wandered in greeting all the employees like a Mafioso and then casually stating that he often carries 500k in his wallet. This club was also notable for arguably the greatest one-liner of any club when one-time regular FONO Andy Graham responded to the waiter’s question of "Have you been here before?" with "Nah, I'm not a big curry drinker".

Back to this evening though and founder member Liam, known for his sartorial splendour didn’t let the side down when unzipping his jacket to reveal a charming ‘Lovejoy’ t-shirt.

Painful memories

The theme tune to Lovejoy ignited painful memories for co-founder Matthew of hitting the sack on a Sunday evening before the agony of a school week ahead. This sparked a lively discussion about other Sunday night television denoting the depressing onset of bedtime before school the next day. The jaunty Heartbeat theme tune was a particularly agonising sound to this evenings’ chronicler, and once regular blog writer Danny O gave us a haunting rendition of the Birds of a Feather theme tune, you could have heard a pin drop.

TTT took this opportunity to inform us that in Birds of a Feather, the randy neighbour ‘Doreen’ was in fact from Leeds, a cursory look on Wikipedia tells us that the actress has no connections to the West Riding whatsoever and was in fact born in North London #fakenews.



Not from Leeds

Politics popped up, as it often does with some club members lamenting the fact that a lying, unscrupulous chancer formed on the playing fields of Eton will be our next PM. Harsh words were shared about Morley’s local MP too but perhaps the worst opprobrium was reserved for the Mayor of the hometown for his choice of Lonsdale trainers whilst decked out in his Mayoral regalia showing no respect for the standards expected of high office.

Displaying a level of organisation rarely seen before in our host, we were briskly frog marched to the next watering hole. A short hop to The Ship saw Scotty 2 Hotty join the party, wisely keeping off the ale as he had orders to bark and deals to close the next day. Desperately trying hard not to offend with the bluntness of the question Matthew politely demanded of Scott ‘why are you late?’ anyway. Discussion turned to the incredible fertility of some club members, some apparently defying medical science to produce a procession of children. One member (try and guess) swears by the rhythm method and some members expressed an awareness of tantric methods, truly a diverse, spiritual club.

After what seemed like five minutes in The Ship we were whisked away again by TTT to our next stop. Our guest blog writer managed to spot our hosts plan though as I hurriedly tried to finish my pint, leaving a few dregs in the bottom, only for it to be gulped down by TTT as we left. Thirsty work cleaning windows in rainy June it would seem.

Our final stop before the meal was The Wrens, always a popular stop off. Upon arrival, our eagle-eyed once-regular blogger, Danny O spotted local soap star ‘Zak Dingle’ from Emmerdale who was far too engrossed in the women’s football match to oblige us with a selfie. Poor form from the big man but never let it be said that the club gets in the way of a man’s enjoyment of South Africa v. China Ladies #cluboffeminists #sportsbras.

"I'm watching the football"

Into the restaurant we go then, bang on time due to extraordinarily efficient host TTT. Gabbar was a new restaurant for the club and we were led upstairs to a very welcoming looking dining area. Club stalwart Vinny remarked that this might be the first time we have eaten without any other diners and it was hard to remember a quieter dining experience. The weather probably impacted on how busy the restaurant was.

On to the menu and poppadom’s came quickly with a good pickle tray, beers ordered and attention turned to mains. Rajasthani Laal Maas was a popular dish, as was the Navratan Kofta, a mashed potato dish. ‘Lamb man’ Jay Bailey even opted for the Navratan Kofta, proving how attractive the potato and paneer based dish was. We were offered the option of how hot we wanted our dish to be, always a good sign. Most opting for medium but Matthew opting for the ‘fires of hell’ strength #brave.

Poppadom's

Recollections from this instalments blog writer become hazy here as, speaking frankly, I was a bit p***ed by this point, hiccupping all the way home despite Danny’s attempts to shock them out of me as he got out of the cab. Thanks anyway Dan.

Complimentary drinks were provided for the group though which is always a nice touch. Service was good (I think!) and plates were clear by the end, suggesting the smaller than usual starter was a good thing as everyone actually had room for their mains for once.

Some members stated that they would have preferred a little more spice and some perhaps felt their dish was a bit too ‘creamy’. Personally speaking my two dishes with my new partner Vinny (sorry Creth, when the cat’s away…) were a delight, especially the mashed spuds.

At £180 for nine diners, the price was competitive although we just missed the threshold of 50% off for eight diners. Our host was very happy with the bill though regardless, as he should be, for a man who regularly has 500k in his wallet #smallchange.  

Early reports of ‘minimal gas’ and ‘solid deliveries’ suggest that this won’t be the last time we visit Gabbar. Next up will be Dockers who always puts on a delightful club, so until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.