Mirchiz, Rothwell (October 2016)

Guess who just got back today, them wild-eyed boys that had been away. Haven't changed that much to say but man, I still think them cats are crazy! Yes, the curry club boys were back for another season and amongst the old faces were new members Steve and Jay, making their curry club debuts. The squad was not complete however, with seasoned clubman Danny Grimes unavailable due to his better half rather selfishly booking a relaxing Durham getaway in some swanky hotel. I'm sure under his grateful smile was a deep sadness of curry denial #poetry. To kick off the season, club founder Gled decided to have us venture further afield with a trip to Rothwell. Unfamiliar territory but some good prep' meant all pre-curry beverages were had in The Black Bull and with Ossett Brewery ales on offer, such as the delightful Yorkshire Blonde, and the classis Tetley's which TTT had injected through an IV for the night, there was no need to find anywhere else.

"I designed this f#ckin course, so I can play in what I want!"

Inevitably, whenever new blood is initiated, tales are regaled about past club's and we enjoyed running through some high and low lights from down the line - including the unexpected treasure of stumbling on the Leeds Celtics Cheerleader Awards in 2014 - great days, great club! Perhaps our tails wagged more than usual due to our joy of the club being back in all our lives, but the beer seemed to flow fast, causing debutant Steve to fall victim to a fine faux pas when saying he'd once played on a golf course that was designed by Jack Nicholson. The triple Oscar winner is clearly multi-talented.

With the curry house on the horizon, we finished our final beers talking about the emergence of Netflix and the great shows available. This resulted in the mocking of Gled who is so far behind the times, he informed us that he'd only just moved on from VHS to DVD, starting off his collection with season 1 of One Foot In The Grave.

Mirchiz, Rothwell, Leeds

Mirchiz is very modern, and 'slick' in appearance which is all well and good, but seems to sacrifice any sense of heart and soul that some restaurants have managed to balance alongside. A decent welcome from the staff adds some warmth and the popadoms arrive sharpish, which is nice. As we perused the menu, Gled displayed another bout of good prep' as he distributed the bottles of Cobra he had dropped off at the restaurant earlier - due to the lack of alcohol license. Some unusual but intriguing choices are available at Mirchiz, with Duck tikka cooked in a bhuna style sauce and Venison in a Massala sauce catching the eye in particular. The Tandoori Trout option prompted memories of the once delectable Leslie Ash of Men Behaving Badly fame - perhaps a new DVD for Gled to consider in his collection, of which space and money could be saved simply by watching UK Gold.

The starters arrive, with a good selection in the mix of Mirchiz Mix and Vegetarian Mix options - including a 'spring roll' which although usually accustomed to another type of Asian food, was a welcome addition. As the large starters were consumed and enjoyed for the most part, Vinny recalled something from his teenage years which would scar most but is a funny anecdote in his back catalogue, as he tells us when on a holiday he pleasured himself to the moans and groans from the adjacent hotel room, believing it was a raucous sexual encounter of two young, supple lovers - only to discover it was in fact his father suffering from a bad case of food poisoning. Not the best topic for dining, but it didn’t stop Scott enjoying two lamb chops, leaving others to pick at bones like post-apocalyptic scavengers.

Time for the mains. We're presented with large dishes, which it turns out are needed to hold the monster sized portions within them. The lovely thick sauce and endless meat was very tasty, and enjoyed all-round the table, perfectly accompanied by non greasy naans and what was described by Matty as the 'nicest bombay-aloo we've had'. Scott managed to finish off his curry, which considering the size of portion and eating everyone's lamb chops in the starter was doubly impressive. Nobody else managed to finish, yet there was no bagging up (no diggity) but most likely due to the lack of strength ability to carry such a portion home in both arms and belly.

The group is supplied with After Eights as Liam sorted out the bill, coming in at a decent £170 (not including the Cobra) for a strong starting curry to the season - it was time to depart. I can't speak for anyone else's journey home but mine was great, watching Matty attempt to figure out the digital radio and failing miserably, then having a few James Brown numbers boom out of the speakers which led to Broady playing Eddie Murphy's Delirious impersonation of James and other hilarious snippets from the show. And speaking of brown, reports came in for the following days 'gas factor' that the majority of members were sweating like the showman himself after a 4 hour gig but rather a 4 hour toilet stint. I'm sure I even heard in the whispers of the wind 'Get up offa that thing, and dance 'till you feel better' but alas James, I could not…I could not.

Until next time

Cheers

Danny