The March Curry Club spilled into April due to busy bank holiday schedules and host Lee Temple decided to bring the
curry to our boyhood hometown of Morley (apart from Scott, a foreigner to these 'ere parts). Meeting in The Picture House or 'Wethers' to its locals, the
club didn't exactly get off to a flyer thanks to an extremely slow bar
service. But once out of the blocks, spirits were raised with nostalgic tales
from the 'borough' and we all enjoyed a nice pint in Morley's premier new surroundings. Not
wanting to have another 'dry' 30 minutes, we moved swiftly on to Cucina, a nice
little bar providing a continental feel to the historic market town. It was
here we noticed we were a man light, with Matty absent as he didn’t want to
leave the Masters golf coverage. Thankfully, his residence was a stone's throw
away and he joined us promptly. After Danny Grimes informed us he'd left his
relationship on a Bosman, it was time for us to leave Cucina and move on to The
Queen - known for housing a few 'unsavouries', so like a midget in a urinal, we
were going to have to stay on our toes. Once in there however, it was clear the
only danger we were in was of busting some moves to the awesome music in our
ears…."I've found a way to break through this cellophane line, because I
know what's going on in my own mind - Am I living in a box, am I living in a
cardboard box? Am I living in a box, am I living in a cardboard box? Am I
living in a box, am I living in a cardboard box? Am I living in a box, am I
living in a cardboard box?"….sorry I got carried away there.
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| A case for CSI Morley |
Over more
classic tunes, talk turned to politics with the forthcoming election on our
minds….but not for long. A walk down to new café bar Oscars brought banter back
to more familiar territory - erections and other such toilet humour. So
that was election in the Queen, and erection in Oscars.
Unfortunately, the owner didn’t take too kindly to our discussion and asked us
to change the subject or leave. Since we were the only patrons in there, it was
difficult to grasp his unnecessary attitude. After Vinny decided on quite
revenge with some fine use of liquid soap as simulated semen in their toilet,
it was time to exit while we still could on our own terms. Temptation was to
talk about the close ejection but we knew we'd struggle to find our next
topic without an Oxford's English Dictionary. On to our last stop before
dining, aptly named The Last Orders, but more affectionately known as The
Royal. At low, low prices - the nights pre-curry drinks came to a positive end,
although Matty's shelving hadn't gone unnoticed.
Saffron Desi, Morley.
An impressive exterior, the building looms over the streets
from the hilltop on which it sits. Once through the door, we wait in a holding
area of sorts, with a bar thankfully, until our table is ready upstairs in the
restaurant. The relaxed staff pour our drinks and we're promptly taken up to a
nice, long, pleasant dining room. Poppadoms and pickles are gorged upon, as the
waiter comes to take our order. A debate ensued between the waiter and host
Temple over starters, with the host questioning why the waiter recommended we
order 10 mixed starters for 10 diners, when the menu says they're for 2 people
to share. Negotiations were short and education prevailed, 5 were ordered. More
bizarre waiter antics followed, as he wanted us to order our sundries before we
order our mains - throwing some into disarray - it's surprising TTT didn’t
order a Chapati Balti.
Scrambling for the dessert menu just in case, the waiter
finally decided it was time for the mains - which included a Chicken Hyderadi,
Saffron Handi, a Madras (whoooosh), a Lamb Korma (TTT still confused?) and a Fish
Masala but not from the fishmonger. The ordering done, we were brought 2
complimentary bottles of red - clearly our reputation preceded us. The sought
after Inobili may have been a Merlot, from the Venetian region of Canada but it
was a nice touch nonetheless and enjoyed by most. Before the meal commenced,
there was opportunity for the group to chuckle at Scott The Foreigner's
misfortune of being snipered on the way to the bathroom - I can only conclude
he tripped over a grain of rice. The mixed platters arrive, and although
proving Temple correct that it was enough to share, the starters fell into the
'tasty enough but not mind blowing' bracket. We're very granular! A standard
start really. On to the mains and on arrival, everything looked delicious
(apart from TTT's Korma but when does it!) all we needed now was our rice.
Unfortunately, it became clear the rice had been forgotten as the relaxed
staff, began to relax in their relaxing chairs. A swift reminder saw the
kitchens fired up again but we had naan and a few chapatis to help us get
underway while we await the rice. And the mains were very tasty indeed -
enjoyed by all - with only one negative comment from the group, coming
from Vinny stating the Fish was too salty. It's a shame the rice came towards
the end of the meal, as the main was a success otherwise, and there was a
little 'bagging up' from Danny O (no diggity).
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| A nice drop |
A good evening all round, with some lovely curry's at a bargain price, only let
down by a less than adequate service unfortunately. Until next time.
Cheers
Danny
