After 'Dry January', inevitably comes 'Wet February' and so Crethy B's club found everyone in the mood for well-earned beers. With the host deciding the Curry Club Triathlon was too infrequent, we headed to the Kirkstall Lane Bowling alley. It was an amusing journey in, as we made use of the iPhones (other brands are available) 'text speak' functionality for the visually impaired. There's just something funny about a robotic gentlemen voice cussing. Upon arrival it was soon clear that the packed out alley meant bowling wouldn't commence immediately. So it was time for beers in the bar while watching the barman struggle to find Sky Sports 3 for 30 minutes, rather than the desired rugby. He was probably the same barman who typed up the poster for the upcoming Chrystal Palace match. But morons aside, the warm up beers were enjoyed and our lane soon became available. And how pleased we all were to find they'd left it un-cleaned from the previous group - which looked like a frat' party had taken place rather than bowling - is there no grace in the sport anymore?!
A
swift and sharp complaint that Victor Meldrew would have been proud of saw the
lane swept and we could get on with the first round of the Curry Club
Triathlon. With my knee still in bits, frequent jibes on
my lame bowling brought shouts to use the ramp, and yet by the halfway
point, there was no clear front runner - even with
my score of 20, you couldn’t rule me out of the running. The usually
prolific Gledhill was bowling like the balls had
corners - which led to the theory that he usually spends weeks
practicing in the league lanes, so the last
minute call from Broady didn’t leave him any 'prep' time.
He finally got his eye in, in the final frames but alas it wasn't enough
as
Temple took 1st on the podium with a strong finish, narrowly beating
TTT, who crumbled like a cookie. On to the 2nd stage of the triathlon -
shooting some b'ball outside of school, when a
couple of guys they were up to no good…. I digress. A commanding early
lead of 67 hoops from myself proved too much for everyone, and was
worthy of comparisons to Knicks legend Patrick Ewing.  |
| Both JR and Kobe's nemesis |
Hasans, Kirkstall Road, Leeds.
 |
| Burn baby burn |
From an empty pub to an empty
restaurant, a welcome wasn't received initially, but we were engaged by the
waiter after a short moment. Following a quality experience on previous visits, lips were licked over the menu choices as
the poppadoms and new, tasty pickle tray selection (much
improved on last time) were enjoyed promptly.
TTT had his customary memory lapse, as both the waiter and Comrade Svott attempted to find who had ordered the small Cobra - and as nobody piped up, Svott took it on,
only for TTT to order a small cobra 30 seconds later as his was missing! Mixed platters ordered for starters, some ordering off
the menu for the mains occurred, with 3 members opting for a special
Mixed Karahi. Other dishes included a Fish Massmum (standard from Vinny The Fishmonger), a Keema Aloo Balti
and a Lamb Dopiaza. Our attentions turned to our forthcoming school
reunion and we reminisced on the inexplicably, yet wonderfully powerful,
athletic legs some girls had - but even this wasn’t enough to distract from the
fact that the starters should have arrived some time ago, especially
considering we were the only diners.
Unfortunately, when the mixed sizzlers did
eventually arrive, they looked like they had been cooked in the fires of hell,
as the food was burnt to a cinder. This was recognised by one waiter at least -
but a solitary replacement Samosa was not enough to deter from a poor start. On
to the mains, and disappointingly the standard here too was not up to last
visits dizzy heights. Nobody seemed particularly unhappy with their dish, but
nobody was raving about it either and when asked it all seemed a bit 'meh' from
the members. The Fishmonger's fish dish was too fishy, the mixed Karahi specials were on the dry side and the
Dopiaza was likened to 'pedigree chum'. The latter an extreme
response yes, but most likely due to the feeling of deflation from
expectations to reality. I have to stress,
some were happy with their dishes and the sundries were lovely, so clearly a
mixed reception rather than the resounding plaudits from just a few months ago,
and coming in at £180 you'd expect more for your money.
A special 'tip
of the curry club hat' must go to acknowledge our young waitress - who
I hope was in character for her role in some local, amateur dramatics
production crossbreed of Mystic Pizza and the A-Team. If so, the 'bad attitude'
was off to perfection and she has a bright acting career ahead of her. If not,
her conduct was simply shit and her days of waiting tables should be short
lived. Boasting the skills of a lazy, dim-witted badger - at one point she
literally told us that she 'wasn't bothered'. But her crowning moment was
asking Broady to clear up the plates, as she couldn’t be arsed. Seizing the
opportunity to show such 'extra mile' service, he obliged and quickly rattled
off a CV on a napkin for consideration.
One thing which was consistent with Hasans was the gas factor - little needs to be said about such atrocities.
Overall, a great evening
served up by Crethy B - and perhaps
literally next time. As for Hasans, hopefully their standards won't continue to fall like
Madonna wearing a cape
Cheers
Danny
