Shebab's, Bishopgate, Leeds (June 2014)

As World Cup fever hit the nation, the club marked the occasion in true South American style by having the national dish of India! Lee's chosen destination - Shebab's in Leeds centre. With a plan firmly in place to watch the opening game between Brazil and Croatia, we started our pre-curry beverages in the Angel, off Briggate. If ever you found yourself in need of a cheeky beer but only had £1.30 to your name - have no fear and head to the Angel for a pint of 'Alpine' lager, with its astronomically low prices it proved a great starter for the night - even if it's pot luck what you actually get with the confusing Samuel Smith names. Into the Leeds Trinity we went for a quick one in the Botanist, before heading across the road in time for kick off. It's at this point we'd like to grant minus 35 club points to the 1871 Bar who in an afternoon enquiry stated they were showing the match with a resounding 'yes', only to find when we get there, they are not. A black mark from the club is not to be trifled with and I hear plans for closure are in motion.

Schwing

Thankfully, Matty sniffed out The Hourglass around the corner and so we headed there. As the conversation flowed with memories of Italia '90 (perhaps the most romantic World Cup of all time - 'Nessun Dorma', heart-breaking semi-final, Bobby Robson, skill of Schillachi, 'World In Motion') Matty was drawn into conversation by the drunkest man in the world but quickly rescued by an anonymous man in a suit, whom the drunk took for the bar manager and left as fast as he could - which took about 10 minutes. 

As Brazil scored it seemed Matty was the main man of the Hourglass, celebrating with more locals - the jubilant Toure brothers  - who had clearly left it late in the day to fly out for Ivory Coast's opener. As the minutes ticked away, the players on the pitch began to tire and the club members descended in to drunken banter, including appreciation for Suzanna Reid and a heated debate on the origins of the steak restaurant Fazendi….which I nearly left out of this blog due it providing Gled with an opportunity to act smug. The full time whistle blew, which signalled it was time to head on to Shebab's.

Shebab's, Bishopgate, Leeds City Centre

Sharing Platter

Escorted through the grand décor, we arrive at our table - which wouldn't have looked out of place in Pankot Place from Indiana Jones: The Temple Of Doom, with its dark wood carvings and solid *gold motif (*maybe not). Time to order, and since none of the club members are in Indy's league, no snake surprise, eyeball soup or chilled monkey brains were chosen. In fact, considering the grand décor, the menus looked a little out of place with their slick, Hollywood brochure like vibe. Couple this with the background music, a compilation of Indian versions of Western film themes, it seemed the restaurant didn’t quite know what theme it wanted to settle on. As The Good, The Bad & The Ugly played out on Sitar, the men selected their dishes before the waiter and club host Temple had a disagreement on the amount of naan's we should order. I'm sure you can guess who wanted less

King Prawn Balti

Dishes ordered included King Prawn balti, plus some specialities from the 'exotic & authentic' section - Pocharga and the Gosht Desi. Within the blink of an eye, the starters had arrived  - the mixed platters shared amongst the group were enjoyed thoroughly by all, and there was plenty to go round too. The mains arrived on the customary tray and it has to be said they received a mixed response. Most enjoyed theirs but Lister's was more like a side dish, mine was a Sunday roast dinner in spicy gravy, and Matty's was the curry equivalent of a Hawaiian pizza ("eat some pineapple you bitch!" he cried as he offered his dish to others). Still, the disappointment seemed to be the minority and could more than likely be down to poor ordering from the diners, rather than a culinary faux pas.

Jive

Gledhill was clearly struggling to handle the alcohol intake for the evening, talking jive turkey as the hot towels were distributed. Temple settled the bill, coming in at a very modest £130. So all in all, strange surroundings for the eyes and ears but a good solid curry - unlike my backside the following morning unfortunately. A messy 20 minute visit to the toilet at any time isn't good but pre-8am clearly waves the 'gas factor' finger in Shebab's direction. Further reports from other members only cemented this and so the frailty of the human digestive system is something for Shebab to consider.

I had planned to write some motivational words for England's quest in the World Cup, but as we are already eliminated at the point of writing it seems fruitless. However, there is no bad time for John Barnes to do his thing, so here you go…

"You've got to hold and give but do it at the right time

You can be slow or fast but you must get to the line

They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack

There's only one way to beat them, get round the back

Catch me if you can cos I'm the England man

And what you're looking at is the master plan

We ain't no hooligans, this ain't no football song

Three lions on my chest, I know we can't go wrong"

Cheers

Danny